a pirate’s life for me.

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I’m over wearing hats. My sad little ponytail/hat combo made me feel like a half balding hippie man that can’t let go of his long hair from the sixties. You know the type. Don’t mean to hate on those dudes that this applies to, but it just wasn’t the look I was going for. I’m wearing head scarves and am doing my best to rock the Erykah Badu look, but she’s so beautifully unique and I just feel like a pirate. Jack Sparrow is another look that I wouldn’t choose, but so it goes.

I went out in public for the first time with just a scarf on the other day. The world didn’t end. I walked from our house and carried my daughter in the Ergo to meet a friend for coffee. I noticed some stares and saw some really sympathetic looks, like: ‘Poor mom going through chemo with a newborn.’ I wanted to say: ‘I’m ok! It’s just alopecia.’

My fiance shaved my head last night. I thought I’d cry, but I felt relieved. I took a shower and felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Fresh start.

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5 Comments

Filed under Alopecia Files

5 responses to “a pirate’s life for me.

  1. First off, what a devastating loss. I don’t care what anyone says, if you have to lose a part of what you defined as yourself (be that hair, a limb, the full use of a limb, your rock hard abs or simply your hair color) it is a loss and a tragic one at that. Not super tragic, I mean, like you said, this is not a life-threatening disease, but tragic enough that you should allow yourself time to mourn. I think that is perfectly acceptable. I mourn the mysterious loss of my upper body strength every day. It is not a fun discovery. But, one that can be overcome, yes, and like all losses that may happen to our body, indeed with a little work – maybe some exercises, maybe some hair dye, maybe a very expensive and utterly beautiful scarf – we can stop mourning and starting living again. Hair is such a personal thing. Even myself, who primarily puts hers up in a bun and only on her 33rd birthday decided it was time to go to an actual hair salon to get it cut and styled for the second time ever in her life, even that person spends an awful lot of time thinking about hair. I have dozens on “pins” on pinterest illustrating how my hair ought to look and am stubbornly searching for the right mixture of baking soda and water to wash the darn things without all those chemicals we are know so fond of in almost every hair product known to man. It’s time consuming. So, bravo for taking the step to erase that worry and time from your every day life. Who needs it? If Beyonce can cut hers off than why can’t you shave it? (side note, will she wear wigs at her concerts!?!? or will she totally rock her pixie? we shall all wait with bated breath) To recap, I am sorry for the loss of that glorious dark and full head of hair of yours. I think it’s ok to be sad about it and for others to share your sadness, I think it would be disingenuous if no one stated the obvious. However, we live this life to experience as much as we are capable of, and what’s not to love about a little adventure in our lives? The Year I Shaved My Hair Off and Survived. Sounds pretty different to me and different always leads to greatness!

  2. a.

    Thank you for this… and coming from one of the smartest, most beautiful and strongest women I know!
    I think you are absolutely right. We should stop to mourn any loss… it’s necessary to acknowledge the negative and then resume our adventures in life!

    …and “When the Mrs. Carter Show world tour resumes in England August 17, the wife of Jay Z will continue to rock her signature flowing hairpieces. That hair whipping around is a big part of the performance.”
    (Thanks to my sister for keeping me informed on Bey’s tresses with the USweekly subscription she gave me for Xmas;)

  3. Erin

    Angela, You always amaze me at what a deep, beautiful and honest human being you are. I’m honored to know you and would love to be able to have time to get to know you better! xo Erin

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